* Fourteen-times gold medallist Michael Phelps after finishing a disappointing fourth in the 400m individual medley: “It was just a crappy race. I felt fine the first 200, then I don’t know. They just swam a better race than me, a smarter race than me, and were better prepared than me. That’s why they’re on the medal stand.”

* Responding to Prince Charles’ warning to Australian swimmers Melissa Gorman and Ky Hurst ahead of their 10km open water swim race in the Serpentine in Hyde Park: “Even he admitted we should gargle some antiseptic when we get out of there,” Gorman said.

* New Zealand’s chef de mission Dave Currie was thrilled by a surprise encounter with the Queen at Olympic Village: “She was just wonderful. Impressively, she’d only returned to the palace at 2am following the opening ceremony and had that morning already been to watch the swimming competition and to meet Team GB. That’s not bad for someone who is 86 years old.”

* One of the most memorable moments of the Olympic ceremony was when stuntman Gary Connery jumped out of a helicopter dressed as the Queen. It was most memorable for Connery himself: “I think this one is probably unsurpassable. It will hang in my memory until I become senile and can’t remember it any more.”

* London Mayor Boris Johnson dismissed suggestions by Tory MP Aidan Burley that the Olympic Games opening ceremony was “leftie multicultural” nonsense. “People say it was all leftie stuff. That is nonsense. I’m a Conservative and I had hot tears of patriotic pride from the beginning. I was blubbing like Andy Murray.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *